Wednesday, April 20, 2011
Studying the self within the sound of silence...
The Buddhists have a saying about the practice of silence; before saying something that may potentially harm, "Make like a block of wood." In the eight branches of yoga, the first branch (Yamas) has five principals, one of them being truth (Satya) which includes the practice of right speech. Right speech embraces controlling what is said by not committing the four sins of speech, which are: abuse/obscenity, dealing with falsehoods, calumny (telling tales), and ridiculing what others hold to be sacred. And even though the list of written texts about the importance of impeccable speech is indeed vast and profound, we still struggle with it. Why is that?
I've had an interesting past few days in silence, not by choice but because I am in the midst of an acute case of laryngitis. Every other year or so I come down with laryngitis, and even though it might begin with a little help from mother-nature (allergies or cold), it's really just a way my body forces me into silence because I am to busy 'running like a chicken with its head cut off' and can't be stopped. I know I'm not alone when I say that I like the rush of busyness. There's sort of a justification to the ego of importance when one is caught in the rapture of 'too much to do, not enough time'. The dictionary defines laryngitis as "an hysterical reaction." I remember my sister, (an R.N.) telling me years ago, when I lost my voice, "you are having a hysterical reaction." WHAT! Me! I am not hysterical! What do you mean! And then I actually looked it up in the dictionary, and there I was! I swear, if I squint my eyes and look sideways at that page in the dictionary, I can see my picture! hahaha!
But there is this transformation that happens when one is silent. You get to be with yourself. You are stuck with yourself and that allows you to study yourself. The people around you sort separate from you--truly like oil and water, and the result is this vast, open space surrounding you. Now since I've become somewhat of an expert at it all these years through 'practice' it doesn't bother me at all like it did in the beginning years (this has been going on for around 30 years now). But in the beginning I remember feeling really alone, really alienated from my circle. I didn't have the right tools to cope with it. But over the past 20 years, as my yoga practice and matured, I actually have come to embrace the gift of silence. As the old axiom goes, 'Silence is Golden,' but the self digging, or mining one has to do to get there is indeed a journey or work. It's like riding a bike. At first you stumble and fall, and don't understand that this is a great thing, but then you have that 'aha' moment; it all makes sense! And then, when the bike presents itself later on down the road, you happily get on and enjoy the ride.
I think the practice of silence serves as a great paradigm for many other opportunities we stumble upon, but don't 'see' right away. Life is hard, but life is a gift. Loss is hard, but loss is a gift. Pain is hard, but pain is a gift, Love is hard, but love is a gift. And yes, the true, full embrace of yoga practice is hard, but indeed it IS a gift. So maybe, just for today, you can make like that block of wood, sit back and pause before you use the gift of speech, study yourself, embrace all your gifts, and LIVE this day to it's absolute fullest.
I've had an interesting past few days in silence, not by choice but because I am in the midst of an acute case of laryngitis. Every other year or so I come down with laryngitis, and even though it might begin with a little help from mother-nature (allergies or cold), it's really just a way my body forces me into silence because I am to busy 'running like a chicken with its head cut off' and can't be stopped. I know I'm not alone when I say that I like the rush of busyness. There's sort of a justification to the ego of importance when one is caught in the rapture of 'too much to do, not enough time'. The dictionary defines laryngitis as "an hysterical reaction." I remember my sister, (an R.N.) telling me years ago, when I lost my voice, "you are having a hysterical reaction." WHAT! Me! I am not hysterical! What do you mean! And then I actually looked it up in the dictionary, and there I was! I swear, if I squint my eyes and look sideways at that page in the dictionary, I can see my picture! hahaha!
But there is this transformation that happens when one is silent. You get to be with yourself. You are stuck with yourself and that allows you to study yourself. The people around you sort separate from you--truly like oil and water, and the result is this vast, open space surrounding you. Now since I've become somewhat of an expert at it all these years through 'practice' it doesn't bother me at all like it did in the beginning years (this has been going on for around 30 years now). But in the beginning I remember feeling really alone, really alienated from my circle. I didn't have the right tools to cope with it. But over the past 20 years, as my yoga practice and matured, I actually have come to embrace the gift of silence. As the old axiom goes, 'Silence is Golden,' but the self digging, or mining one has to do to get there is indeed a journey or work. It's like riding a bike. At first you stumble and fall, and don't understand that this is a great thing, but then you have that 'aha' moment; it all makes sense! And then, when the bike presents itself later on down the road, you happily get on and enjoy the ride.
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| Sandy sitting in silence Banglore, India |
I think the practice of silence serves as a great paradigm for many other opportunities we stumble upon, but don't 'see' right away. Life is hard, but life is a gift. Loss is hard, but loss is a gift. Pain is hard, but pain is a gift, Love is hard, but love is a gift. And yes, the true, full embrace of yoga practice is hard, but indeed it IS a gift. So maybe, just for today, you can make like that block of wood, sit back and pause before you use the gift of speech, study yourself, embrace all your gifts, and LIVE this day to it's absolute fullest.
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